Psych doc appointment yesterday. I’m back on medication. My psych doc looks like Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas, so I’m going to call her that. Sally keeps trying SSRIs on me despite my protests that they have been tried and don’t work. This time Paroxetine + Fluoxetine.
Plus a new member, Seroquel.
I’m not trilled about having to take medication if it’s not going to work. The last time I was in an antipsychotic I lost my ability to sleep on command. Sleeping has always been my preferred way out and without it I don’t know what to do. Apart from that, there was no change, it was like eating candy.
Sally frustrates me a lot. It’s all the same to her. One month she tries one thing, the other month she tries something else. If these meds don’t work she’ll just change them again. I’m not sure I can afford the luxury of waiting.
When I go to her I feel like there’s a lot I want to scream about but it doesn’t go through. She’s been seeing me for over a year and she is still clueless about me. We don’t communicate.
This time though, we finally talked about something different. Something I have been researching for a while.
I have been reading a lot about electrical stimulation. If SSRIs are not working for me it probably means that the problem in my brain might not be solved by the mere increase in the availability of the neurotransmitters. After all these years there is probably deeper damage, on a cellular level.
I’ll elaborate later, I’m very sleepy right now. Here’s one of the articles. It’s not only about ECT but other electrical therapies for Treatment Resistant Depression if you want to read a bit about this. I’ll come back and put more links later, I’m off now.