Last night I had a guilt dream. People shouted at me “Go to work lazy! work! work!”. Then somebody took me to military service but it consisted on selling Pepsi from a truck. Later I got compared with overly successful family members, and the family members actually came home to scold me. The strange part was that I didn’t feel bad, instead I smiled and agreed with everyone and then people hugged me. Ugh. I’m surprised we didn’t sing kumbaya.
When I woke up it felt like I had escaped one of those Grimm Brothers horror tales I read as a kid. You know, some evil witch smiling at me while singing sweetly “love of mine you are worthless except for your nutritional value, now show me that little finger“.
I should have known it was a dream when my oldest cousin grew 4 meter long arms.
Anyway. Now, I’m awake and safe. My back and the left side of my body are in pain for some reason, but I am not particularly disliking my current state of mind. I’m thinking fast and a lot, even when sleepy. I have a new notebook which I’m filling with all sorts of ideas about life, the world, societies, psychology and logic. Nah, it sounds better than it is. Nothing of it makes much sense really. Nothing is pointing anywhere useful. But I’m really excited about feeling this way. My brain has been so slow lately that I was starting to think it was going to stay that way forever. I don’t have a good point to blog about now but I wanted to register this. Despite the guilt being renewed by the dream, I don’t want to overburden myself like I have done in the past.
Unrelated note: Here I was worrying about not getting my IELTS results. Well, I finally got them a couple of days ago! I thought I was going to blog about it but I didn’t get around to do it until now.
I got a band score of 7.5 (scores are 0 – 9). I explained a bit about the exam scoring in the middle of this post.
I think the results accurately graded what I did in the exam. Yes, I think I can do better writing than that, but my error was in time management. And of course the speaking test failed me but it was a really lousy interview so I was actually expecting something worse! I have no comments on the listening part, nothing was hard to understand but I, uh, spaced out a lot while hearing the recording (I think I already ranted about this).
Finally, I think whatever I got wrong in the reading test was not language related. In one part of the exam there was this 1000 word text divided in paragraphs, and then they gave you about 10 tittles related to the text and you had to match the tittles with the paragraphs. They were all very similar, so of course it took a certain skill to understand the language well enough to match them precisely. But besides that there were a lot of cognitive processes to be done, and I guess some of them must have failed. My opinion is that I probably would have made the same mistakes if the text was in Spanish.
Some people say this exam is so hard that even native speakers don’t get perfect scores. Well, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s too hard, it means that besides understanding a language, acing this exam requires intelligence, reading comprehension skills, paying attention, and managing the time well. In the essay you couldn’t just give a dumb answer, you had to really try to make your point.
Anyway, I think I’m satisfied. 🙂