I know

The blog sucks lately.  I have like 9 drafts with random crap.  I can’t keep my focus long enough to even read the blogs I used to lose myself into (sorry).

What I have been doing:

  • Sleeping a lot in the day.
  • Doing very short term tasks like running a couple of errands every now and then, nothing compromising.
  • Avoiding my own conscience.
  • Avoiding showing my concerns because that’d make people start talking about things that will bring out my conscience.
  • Avoiding, avoiding, avoiding.  Go away conscience.
  • Being online a lot talking to one or two really cool people.
  • Fangirling The Joker in a facebook group.
  • Not taking medication which results in weird moods (I’m crying and 30 mins later I’m laughing for no reason), I act strange, the medication kept my sex drive at zero so now that I’m off it I’m like in the opposite side. (sorry, too much information); my sleeping patterns are insane (it’s 4 and 18 am and I haven’t slept a bit).
  • Going to the appointment to get my new medication but I don’t want to take it because I don’t think there’s a point in giving it another try; I am somewhat happy being a random drone who does fun things that require no effort or commitment; I don’t want to lose my sex drive again; I prefer not to think, and other equally immature reasons.   Oh, I also hate the psych.  I think there’s absolutely no communication flowing between us and part of it is my fault, of course, but she’s the psychiatrist, I’m the insane person, right?.  Besides, there’s nothing bad about crying 3 times a day if it goes away the same as quickly.
  • Not being that good at avoiding own conscience.
  • Getting sick with a virus that flew overseas.
  • Learning how to memorize a 26 digit number successfully, then becoming able to get the cube root of any number using that number. No not that impressive, it was a you tube video.  It’s an easy task actually.
  • Having fun and laughing a lot.
  • Daydreaming just too much.
  • Dying my hair blonde but didn’t pick up so I’m still a brunette.
  • Thinking how cool it is that my eyes are made of chocolate.
  • Watching the dark knight for the fifth time.
  • Fangirling the joker a bit more.
  • Not caring much about grammar (clearly).
  • Being a time bomb machine ready to explode and disassemble my brain every time a serious situation arises.
  • Reading short stories that I print out.
  • Eating oranges (and that’s all the healthy food I eat)
  • Being really bad at avoiding over-thinking brain.
  • Making posts that will make people unconfortable when they read them.

That’s pretty much it… yeah.

Here, have a laugh.


6 thoughts on “I know

  1. Your blog’s not sucking lately! Plus, everyone has periods (long or short) where they’re too busy to write, cant be bothered or don’t have any inspiration…unless they’re weird, magical or perhaps extremely well organised, planning posts way in advance.
    I hate that battle with conscience, I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I wish I could lock it up in a box and bury it somewhere…but if I did that, I’d have no conscience to make me go and dig it up…I’m not sure if that’s good or bad hehe.
    That really is a great picture 😀

  2. I’ve HAD to plan ahead.

    You blog isn’t “sucking” anything darlin’. It’s just dandy. Like Meryine said, not everyone has constant inspiration etc etc ALL of the time. you’re allowed a rest. Take care xx

  3. I know someone who does that!!!

    talking about me? 😉

    well, your blog is your blog. if you think it sucks, perhaps it does in some way. but probably the rest of us are thinking of the word ‘quiet’ than ‘suck’. quiet either means something good or bad… seems good from what you’ve reported so far on what you’ve been up to! well, some of it lah.

    did you bleach your hair first? otherwise you can’t go blonde. i heard bleaching stings!

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