My sleeping schedule is totally messed up. But…
I’m okay. Last Wednesday I got a change in medication, again. Fluoxetine was added.
My phobia towards all things related to medicine seems to be fading away. Some weeks ago, I wasn’t able to watch Greys Anatomy without feeling overwhelmed and sick. I hated the characters, their jobs, their lives…
“stupid people with no life outside the hospital who need to constantly fuck each other to feel alive”.
“Although I recognize the Dr Torres and Dr Hahns part was pretty cool…”
In real life, I avoided everyone with a connection to medicine, which is pretty much everyone I know. It wasn’t just annoyance… it was a physical feeling of having my chest oppressed and my breath shortened whenever I thought about the medical world. It’s a feeling that reminded me of that time when I was 3 or 4 years old and I had night terrors… every night, for about 3 months I screamed thinking a huge rock (HUGE, HUGE, like the whole universe) was trying to rest on top of me.
Anyway, it seems like a long time ago. I don’t know if this is a momentary thing, or not, but right now, it’s not that crazy to consider going back and finishing the internship and graduating for good. Not now… just eventually.
Will I work as a doctor? I don’t know.
Will I choose an specialty and get into a residency? I don’t know.
I don’t know anything yet! So what changed?
I decided a while ago that the most logical move in this puzzle was to graduate and then see what happens. It would be just great if depression steps back for me to make that move possible. I still have time, it’s not like I’m going back to work tomorrow. I think August would be a decent date to go back… maybe later. I have my incapacity certificate from the university, and I don’t think there will be a problem. I’m young, and most people don’t graduate of medical school until they’re like 25 anyway.
“Ok, Stop yammering Nessa”
With that settled, lets move on to fluffier business.
I’ve been playing around with my hair a lot. Last friday, I straightened it -not chemical, just blow dried and then ironed.
Straight long hair is awesome. And the best part is that the possibilities are infinite… you can do all kinds of hairdoes and crazy experiments. Curly hair is kind of… boring. It just curls there and that’s it. So, taking advantage of my new hair powers, I went into youtube…
And found this!
I’ve always wanted that kind of hair… and it was rather easy to make.
Uh. Well, It probably wasn’t exactly like that, but considering that I did it rather carelessly (using a web-cam as a mirror – and I have a witness!) and didn’t use any hair spray or bobby pins, I think it was good enough!
Two hours later it was destroyed.
I think that was the role of the hair spray and the bobby pins…
Maybe next time!