About death

I don’t believe in an afterlife, so I don’t have to spend my whole life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more. For whatever the tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse.” – Isaac Asimov.

I usually have no concerns about death, I don’t believe in afterlife.  Things just end, and I’m perfectly fine with that.  I figure being dead feels like I felt before I was born = nothing.

I don’t think it’s sad… yes I would like to live enough to experience everything I want to!… But I am who I am, a pretty nice (and pretty) biological machine, with a complex brain organ that processes external and even internal information in such a way that allows me to do things like writing this entry and having an opinion about death.

Then the machine, being biological and such, and because living forever is not a requirement for my genes to pass onto the next generation, my cells will function less and less with the passing time, and then *bang*.   Or… my cells are perfectly fine and then… *bang*  A bus hits me and my cells go nuts.   And then my compounds decompose into simpler substances that can be recycled and used for some new organism someday, something that will not be me.  The compounds that are part of me are not mine, they have existed for as long as you can imagine… I guess I just borrowed them for my brief life, played around with them, and then they go back and are lent to something else… like a tree or something.   It has been like that since life started.   It’s kinda nice.

Everynow and then, when I’m not so focused on “the big picture”, but instead immersed in my own life and plans and such, especially when I see a pretty promising future… I have great plans! And thigns are working just fine!

I don’t want to die… I’m terrified! What if I die before I get to do all what I want to do!

The fear is ocassional, strong, but mostly, irrelevant.  If I died just now, I wouldn’t know I missed all the things I had planned.  I would just… not be anymore.

No matter how afraid I can get, that doesn’t mean I want an afterlife.  It has no appeal to me even in the hypothetical case it were true.   I don’t want to live forever, much less afterliving forever.  I just want to do everything I want to do…  it’s only one life I have.  To seize the life and screw up as many times as possible, and all that crap.
But I guess being afraid of dying soon is much better than wanting to die soon.   It means life is good.

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6 thoughts on “About death

  1. I think that being afraid of death means you have something to lose. that there is something or someone or a combination of things in your life that mean so much to you that the thought of being away from it is unbearable.

    but death is a part of life. I don’t think I’m afraid of dying, like you said, I’m afraid of not doing what I want to do, not living the life I planned for my self. but if we spend all our time fearing death, then we’re not living any way. I think it’s best to worry about death when it’s knocking at our door step, not when it’s out of town.

  2. i agree with nighterwiter’s first paragraph, but for me, i’m afraid of death. i’m basically afraid of anything unknown or painful, and death happens to be both. definitely not ready to die yet!

  3. That was an interesting read. I’m not scared of being dead, but I’m terrified of knowing I’m going to die, like ever being in a position where I’m told I have however many months to live. That freaks me out.

    I need to go and think about kittens now.

  4. I don’t believe in an afterlife either. I believe things just end.

    Sometimes I think to myself “gee I hope I’m not wrong cuz I may end up spending eternity in hell.”

  5. Many years ago, on a trip to the ocean, I almost drown. I really thought I was going to die… I almost die for real. Ever since, I am afraid of that little moment, the moment when you KNOW it ends… the sadness of knowing that you won’t be a human in the world anymore, that you won’t do anything else, that you will stop feeling, seeing, hearing, talking, that you have to say goodbye to all that and all who you are.

    It’s seconds… but it’s the saddest feeling I’ve ever had.

  6. Nessa wrote:
    It’s seconds… but it’s the saddest feeling I’ve ever had.

    Because in that moment, you realize in a war of autonomy between the environment and the self . . . the former is the undisputed winner. The live subject’s worth is irrelevant. It has no compassion or mercy to offer it. An embodiment of dispassion that cannot be reasoned with, and such, will never yield.

    You are faced with a countdown and urgency of choice, knowing that soon, nothing of the self will remain to understand what it has forever lost.

    As humans we know this is to happen one day. Yet, it is not until death is a fingertip’s reach away that the knowledge transforms from a concept to an experience–an idea and physical sensation all in one. Intellectual denial does not stop our bodies from responding. Nothing overloads our senses and arrests our attention as thoroughly and strenuously as the threat of survival.

    Overwhelming sadness is a common and natural response whenever a near death experience lasts long enough to grant us awareness of what is happening to us. Events such as these are incredibly powerful.

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