Last night it was like this:
My advice: if you ever see that rules book, burn it.
Wow, today has been a long day, not bad, just long. But it seems like it’s about to end, and I’m relaxing now.
I’m having trouble with the layout of this blog, I got bored of the gray one, but now I can’t find one that satisfies me. My brain finally collapsed and I chose back the “DayDream” skin.
Any suggestions? I don’t have a CSS edit plugin so I can’t really customize much more than the usual skins allow you to.
Anyway, I was thinking about my last post and the quiz. And about those damn picky people. When it comes to dating, what are we waiting for? Is it really a sign of thinking nobody lives up to our standards or is it something more simple?
I remember being a long time with no relationships whatsoever. I was kinda oblivious when I was younger and when I realized I liked a guy, and I didn’t really understand how the whole thing worked (I still don’t, but it used to be way worse). I remember thinking… “dating looks impossible… what are the odds that you’re going to like a person, and that same person is going to like you back?”. Really hard, but from that moment you can see I had a tendency to overrate what it’s like to feel attracted to a person.
I’ve found out relationships don’t have to be so complicated. You can’t expect everything to “click” from the first moment you meet. But patience doesn’t seem to be my strong point.
This contrasts with the fact that I don’t want a compromise.
It’s like I wanted an awesome experience of a limited time. I want it to be awesome from the beginning but I want to end it eventually.
Besides, it seems like not dating much is not only a consequence but also a cause of over-selective behavior when dating. When I started dating my last boyfriend, I also started noticing a number of people I knew, that I never considered before. It’s probably a bad comparison, but the same happens when I’m buying clothes. Nothing good for hours, and when you finally buy something, spending all your savings in it, you realize of all the great stuff around! Doesn’t mean you don’t really like the thing you owned. It’s just a weird human behavior. Or maybe it’s just me.
Conversely, I’ve noticed that the longest without a relationship, the most picky you get. I think I’m normally picky, but after a long time of being
a loner single, it just exacerbates to massive proportions.
Finally, my pointless overthinking is leading me to think that I’m actually nothing like The Priss of the quiz. I would like to think I’m brutally honest, but most of the times I’m not. If I don’t like something I tend to walk away and ignore it, I have the feeling it’s not my business to be telling people all day what I don’t like. Also, I’m more of a passive-agressive type. I don’t like that, but it’s true. For example right now I’m really upset about my friend I’m dating (I ceased to call him “boyfriend”). He probably doesn’t know anything, and will not know it until I start showing hostile unspecific behavior towards him.
My relationships rarely end on fights. They usually end slowly and drift apart until nobody knows why, it’s just over. I guess sometimes a fight can be good.