I’m scared. I feel like something is seriously malfunctioning in my brain. It used to come in waves, but now it’s continuous. It won’t let go, it doesn’t disappear when I sleep, it doesn’t go away when something good happens, it never goes away. It’s getting out of control. I feel like my mind is going to literally break down in pieces. But it never does. It just stays there and I don’t know why. All I feel is a huge urge to escape, but I’m out of options. I can’t go anywhere. I failed. I failed in this game. All I want to do is to quit but I can’t find a way out.
I don’t know what I am holding on to. I’m dizzy. I just can’t see a moment when I’m going to feel better. I won’t get better. I’ll never get better. There’s no good outcome for this.