So, tomorrow I start my medical internship. 365 days of hell.
Except that it felt like it started today. I still had to spend all day in the hospital, and do a bunch of stuff. I have to wake up at 4 am tomorrow so I can be at least at 5 am at the hospital to check on my 10 assigned patients until the rounds start at 7 am.
Oh well, I expected this. What can I do.
For years, I’ve had to deal with being the only girl in all the groups of people I end up in. Classes, rotations, shifts, it’s all guys, guys, guys. Being majority, they usually take up more of the conversation and I end up talking with them about everything anyway. It’s not bad, guys are good friends and fun to talk to, so it doesn’t really bother me.
Well, this time for my internship I thought I would stop being “one of the boys” for once, because I got in a group with 2 other girls in it, I told myself “yay, a change, lets see how it goes”.
Except after a few hours with them I wanted my guys back… it was because of many many things. I don’t know if it’s only me, of there’s something about groups of girls… envy, backstabbing… they smile a lot and kiss you on the cheek to say hi, but you don’t really know what’s going on inside their minds!
Oh! And the third part of my tittle is Kyle.
Kyle is an exchange student from Pensylvannia. I think we’ve never had one of these. Exchange students I mean… It’s just that, Colombia, and especially a small city like Neiva doesn’t get many foreigners. There’s only latino people all around, and maybe a couple of asians inside a chinese restaurant (regardless whether they are really japanese or korean for example…) and maybe a couple of Canadians inside their English language schools. When I entered the classroom I noticed someone that was sort of different looking than the rest of the people… for example big blue eyes looking all around a bit lost, but probably the biggest difference was that he was wearing a tshirt and shorts to the hospital. Like, no matter how hot it is, a true person from Neiva will never wear shorts and a tshirt if they’re not in their house or another irrelevant place. People from Neiva LOVE to show off, and will buy expensive cars even if they have to pay for the credit with their whole salary in a way that leaves them unable to even pay for the gasoline. They will dress in “nice” clothes even if they dehydrate to death. People will wear TIES in Neiva, even though the temperature is averaging 40 celcious degrees lately. Because ties look nice. But people will never wear shorts and a tshirt to a hospital.
I think I drifted really badly. I was talking about Kyle. Well, after I got in I was informed that, although he would be around for only 6 weeks, he would be assigned to my group during that time. I thought “yay! another novelty that will make my internship a bit more bearable”… and “way to practice my English”. Some of the people of the group started talking to him, and we were asking about his college and how he ended up here, and explaining a bit about this place, and what he was going to be doing around here, and a bit entertained about how he mispronounced things in Spanish, although it wasn’t bad at all.
All fun until the two girls in my group showed up, got all around the newcomer, smiled, took him apart, and later nobody could get close to him. They owned Kyle.
Later, the resident came around, asked about the new interns, we introduced ourselves, and he started distributing us in subgroups in a random way. The two girls again, surrounded the resident, caught him in their claws and nobody knows what happened but a second later they were assigned together, with Kyle to an unique group with less workload, and I was left again with only guys and 40 patients to check up for the next day.
I guess I’m not really ranting about girls here, I’m ranting about a certain type of (aggressive? dominant?) behaviour that gets them to choose groups and people, and benefits. Guys usually complain about how being male becomes a disadvantage with many things, and it would be just easier to be a girl, like that would bring them instant super convincing/manipulating powers. I don’t know if I agree. I suppose I could have also tried to monopolize the conversation with the exchange student to make him my friend and nobody else’s like they did (it would have been pretty easy: all I had to do was speak English, and that would have excluded everyone else, even “the girls”.) I could also have talked the Resident into placing me into a nice group, only by making eyes at him and asking “purty please” or any other little trick… and we’re not even talking about showing-some-skin tricks. It’s hell easier than that.
Except I’m not like that, at all. I’m not the kind of person who’s all intense and tries to manipulate and dominate… I’m more laid back. I usually have no interest in being the bosses friend, or everyone’s friend to gain their trust even if that would most likely give me some advantages. I’m apathetic to that. Except sometimes it has taken me to the point people just step on me because of that.
I start to wonder whether am I laid back in a good way, or am I just passive, and guilty of a not too wise behaviour. It’s clear that success in this world is about making the right connections. Nothing ever matters if you’re associated with the right people. At least that’s the impression I’m under these days…
And hell, I’m completely unable of making a short post. I have to wake up at 4 am tomorrow, and I probably won’t be coming to this blog that much after then. At least until I adapt to the crazyness of my new life.