I just want to unleash it, get it out, explode something, scream. I wish I could turn this horribly unknown energy into something so it stops being insinde my head! Why can’t I just turn it into…say an awesome freaky drawing, a great song, a dumb poem, an impulsive act, 19 SCREAMS to people who don’t deserve it, compulsive eating, compulsive insulting, compulsive sex, jumping, punching someone, losing yourself in the middle of something that stops the thinking. not even satisfaction, just something that stops the thinking. SOMETHING DAMN IT.
Apparently all I can do is vomit and run in circles. Nothing else. Just vomit, and not even literaly, because it just won’t come out.
I look alright, I sound alright and I have to keep living. But really, all I want to do is vomit.