What a long couple of weeks. Three horrible exams. Less than 4 hours of sleep each night. Only one day off (today) and tomorrow everything starts again.
I feel so tired, I slept well last night and relaxed all day, but it wasn’t enough, I’m restless.
And I’m just a student.
I think if I ever get sick I’ll never visit a doctor again, or if I do, I’ll ask to be treated only by someone who has just started their shift that day. I can’t get how a sleep deprived person, who despite all training becomes nothing much different than a walking zombie, gets to decide what you have, how to treat it and perform complicated procedures on you. It’s just crazy! Who thought of that in the first place?
Or maybe these people just tolerate sleep deprivation and erratic sleep schedules much better than average humans. Which shows once again my poor career choice decision. No matter what a vocational test and a bunch of counselors said. NO, it’s not the like for all biological sciences, anatomy and physiology, and the wish to help the world what should tell you that being a doctor is your calling. They should perform multiple psychological tests, a complete health profile, EVERYTHING, the same kind of crazy requirements they ask for in places like the army, the air force or the NASA. Or at least some kind proof that you won’t become a psycho or a mindless zombie with sleep deprivation, some way to declare that you can be wide awake and full of energy with only a few hours a week of sleep.
I’d like to have that power, but I have to say, I’m a slave to the dream land. I mean, I’m able to force myself to stay awake and all, but I become completely useless, can’t think, can’t process information, and one night of work translates into one entire week of need for extra sleep. That’s why I try to complete everything on daytime, and if I don’t, I give up and find another moment (usually until the dead line is about to end and then I HAVE to do it no matter what). But if I keep trying harder I get to the phase of incredibly bad mood, sending everything to hell, brain hurts, reasoning stops, everything hurts. If I keep trying harder, horrible things happen. Then I go the next day after a night of torture and the best hypothesis my teacher finds for my overweight eyelids and my lack of responsiveness is of course that I was partying all night. Well, I can’t blame him. Partying, that’s what university people do after all, and really, if I didn’t know someone like me, I’d probably think the same.