I don’t remember how I stumbled upon this site, but it looked really cool. Lots of dreams, from the silliest to the deepest. I’ve been posting a couple of things at the time, but I guess this just reminded me- I mean, this is so me. There are a Zillion things I want to do, but I want them to stop being dreams. Life is much better now than it was… two years ago, for instance. But I’m still caught in apathy and boredom, and it’s probably my fault, it’s probably me protecting myself, which sucks because it’ll only lead me to the big black hole again.
All I’ve been doing is making up excuses. Some are perfectly reasonable actually, but something tells me they aren’t good enough reasons for not doing what I really want. I am usually too cautious, and I’m getting fed up with that. Maybe my dreams are too big, maybe I don’t have what it takes, maybe life seems alright the way it is, so why do anything about it. I mean, I’m not even doing the little things, taking the little daily riskes. I guess if I don’t just try it, I’ll just live a long, boring (but stable) life. And I really don’t want that. I want more, much more. I want everything.