And she comes back

It’s been a couple of crazy busy weeks, months, years, or anything time related. I won’t try too hard to know how long.
The last time I was here, I virtually took a hammer and destroyed it all, so my hundreds of posts existing from like 2004 are gone forever. The only thing that surprised me about it is that I’m not missing them like I thought I would, I’m actually not missing them at all.

I know nobody comes here much (at all) anymore, but people were not the reason I had a blog for, so I think I’m going to restart writting, from time to time, maybe just to have something to work with when I get destructive again.

I feel extremelly exhausted, with piles of work, and all I want to do is sleep, make the time go funny again, make my mind go away.

I have to say that it sucks to have moods like rollercoasters. You try to have everything under control, but then you fall down and things stop having sense and you just want to shut your brain down for a while and wait untill it’s over. But, like you would expect, the world doesn’t stop spinning, and college and people don’t stop functioning, so when the whole thing is over you get this whole load of missing classes, bad grades and people you neglected or insulted without wanting to. If you catch a nasty virus and stay in bed forgetting about everything else, it’s understandable, but for something that feels much more disabling, it’s not. You cannot go and tell your teacher “I’m sorry I missed the exam last week, but my serotonin levels probably dropped, you know, and I could barely move that day.”. It sounds ridiculous. That’s the simplest way to put it, ridiculous. And even if they believed you, it’d woudln’t be much better, how it’d feel to start being treated you like you were weak and couldn’t handle anything challenging. I don’t think I’m weak, still, I can’t help falling down when I do. I think I don’t have to justify myself.

Heh, I did a great work making my first post a vent. πŸ˜€

So besides all that, I’ve been using my so far best skill, and done lots of english-spanish translations lately, and I’ve gathered a few coins and bills. The best part about money is using it, so I’ll get to that as soon as I get the time. Probably for pretty shallow stuff, like changing my hair and buying some clothes I won’t need until vacations. Money rocks like that.


5 thoughts on “And she comes back

  1. oooh yay, nessy’s back. πŸ™‚ i missed you nessa.

    i’m glad you’re still going to keep writing blogs. i’ve decided that my philosophy journal will be a life project, so that i’ll never forget any of my philosophical breakthroughs (already had one big one :D). i haven’t really posted any new blogs on here, but i really need to. i had a couple in mind. {forgotten now}, and my big breakthrough about hugs. πŸ˜€ you’ll be the first person i show when it’s up. πŸ™‚

    ST’s main site is coming along well now. i got another friend onto it, and he’s almost finished. πŸ™‚

    that’s about all i have to say on here, i need to email you sometime. πŸ™‚

    see ya nessa. ~hug~

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