Fun Times in a Fun World.

Mood: busy/annoyed/unspired. All due to long day at work and general stress.

Reading: A Short Story I was sent Online. Fun World by William Routhier.

Listening to: “Falling Again” – Lacuna Coil. I enjoy the band sometimes, but it’s not my favorite one. Now, this especific song, is another thing. I absolutely love it. Don’t relate deeply with the lyrics, but the lyrics + the sounds cause one of those wavelength sync moments… the effect is impossible to describe right now. I would say it’s like being high, except I’ve never been high. But It’s like I imagine being high would be, minus the hallucinations and the laugher. And it’s not even the whole song, it’s a part of it. Darn.

Now you wish I had just said “I like this song.”

Anyway. Thinking of: My trip to Bogota last week. I finally bought a 1GB SD memory card, so I don’t have the limitation of taking only 7 to 10 pictures at a time… which means that: I took pics of anything moving or still and of things that are irrelevant or unfunny to the general public. But I won’t bother you with that… so much.

I left the random, people pictures for Facebook so they can laugh at them, I’m sure you have no interest on watching random people drooling at a hamburger after a long day. You can go to your local restaurant and see a bunch of those scenes yourself.

For blogging, I went with the Tourist-Like pictures: less playing around and more about creating tangible-ish memories of things seen to compensate a lousy memory and create the illusion of being able to enter those memories everytime you see the pictures.

Care to join me relive it? Follow the chocolate rabbit…

 

Going on vacations and other random happenings

You should die of an over-sized pineapple being shoved up your sphincter!

Insult of the day. Works like a charm.

SO…

I’ve decided I don’t want to spend my awesome 8 day holiday in Neiva, the hottest and wettest hole in earth… but not an enjoyable one.

Instead I will travel 6 hours to the north and find the awesome coolness of Bogota, the main and biggest city in Colombia. Even though it’s so close, I’ve only been there twice: For a week when I was two, and for another week when I was 13. Even though Neiva is considered a city, and has a big population (almost 400000 people), I’m still considered a “Townie”. Let’s face it, Neiva IS a town. Bogota in the other hand, is a full city.

^Pretty pictures of Bogota

Will not be all alone, but in any case I have maps with me, and a list of possible fun events with places, prices, and a great sense of spacial orientation (yes it’s not an ability exclusive of men like some say, if you still think so, refer to the first line in this post.).

Just for the hell of it, I will tell you exactly where I will be in the next two or 3 days:

Milky way –> Solar System –> Planet Earth. Are you with me?

Zoom up to Southamerica –> Colombia

 

BOGOTA –> Google Earth map of the Sector I’ll stay in + another pretty picture.

Hopefully I’ll be taking pictures of my own… although my camera doesn’t have a memory card and only fits like 10 pictures. And there’s the added factor that I can’t fly, so I won’t get such pretty landscapes. Bummer.

Oh well, that’s all for now!

Just to keep going with adding images found in the internet, here is another one for your amusement. Don’t click if your underage… don’t say I didn’t tell you.

Homer, how many donnuts will you eat!

It’s awesome… genious. I’d personally wouldn’t do that in the first place because I don’t like tatoos… and… ouch. But… genious. GENIOUS.

Okay, see ya.

 

 

 

Not getting a weekend off anymore…

Instad I’m getting a full week off!

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven… EIGHT DAYS!

Last year I had the hardest rotations ever, and we were 8 interns for the whole service.

Now we’re 11 interns, in an easier rotation!

That means we can arrange stuff to get ourselves holidays!

But, what’s so great about me?

1. Some work-weeks have 5 days, some have 6 days. My “BREAK” week, has 6 days!

2. My “weekend off” which is separate, happens to be followed immediately by my “BREAK” week. Only for me because of lucky randomness.

So I get them all to be one next to the other!

SHORT NOTICE THOUGH. I need to plan…

Meanwhile, see the latest thing that is making me laugh:

The Last Post of February

1. A handwritten valentine card for me.

I don’t celebrate Valentines day (not a tradition where I live, and even if it were, I think I would not think much about it anyway). All I know is that, on Feb 14, many roses get exported from my country and that’s good.

But this year I got a valentine anyway! Sulz with another of her lovely blogging projects. (Last year it was an actual postcard in the mail!)

February is not over yet. Not by a second or two.

I still have time to return the love.

2. My almighty FATORA!

(from FAT and ORAnge pen… buh, silly you.

Works the same but it’s funny looking and everyone is trying to steal it from me. (And it’s a pleasure to write with)

1 + 2: My valentine for Sulz before february ends.

Thank you! Love your blogging projects.

See ya all next month!

<< In love with my new blog skin.

It’s not a crossroad, it’s a spider web.

So, it’s January 11. Only a few days and I’ll be back to my internship. I considered the options, over and over, and I realized that even if I decide later that I don’t want to be a doctor, I need to at least finish this cycle. Graduate. The way looks a lot more confusing if I don’t.

So maybe the last 6 years I’ve wasted haven’t been in vain.

I’ve avoided writing a letter to the chief of internship explaining all this, and the whatabouts of my return, because I was secretly hoping something would come up that would finally convince me that I don’t need this. That I can go somewhere else.

But I didn’t find anything, nor I made an effort to find anything. Is there even anything? What am I looking for?

On the other side, my depression seems to have subsided, for now.

Will the effect survive me going back into stressful situations? I need to be prepared for serious lows that are expected, and keep trying.  Right this moment I feel my strengt back.  My moods are stable, my head is clear.  I’m wonder woman again.

I’ve been given three options for my last semester of General Medicine and Surgery.

1) Normal Schedule: Start February 1st. Finish July 30. PRO: Two of the Three rotations I have left have more flexible schedules, and you even get some weekends off. It wouldn’t be as stressing as the 6 months I did at the beggining. CON: I would graduate 2 months after my classmates.

2) Fast Mode: Start February 1st. Finish May 30. PRO: I’d graduate with my classmates, and the torture of the internship would be over SOONER. CON: I would have to work twice as hard. I would not get weekends or days off, I would not get flexible schedules.

3) Away from Home: I also have the option of doing the rest of my internship in another city. PRO: Nobody who knows me and all what’s happened. New Enviroment, New people, New mates, New teachers. Awesomeness. CON: I would live in a small rented room with no mod coms. No family.

My first choice, number three. I actually want to experience living outside my parents shelter. But I have to automatically cancel it. My family is going through some money issues lately. I don’t think I will add to that with another rent, another life outside the house. Studying in the same town you live in is really unexpensive.  Besides, would my depression reactivate being away from my family?  I need to make sure this treatment is really working before I make a big change.

I’m ABSOLUTELY tempted to chooese No 2, especially now that I feel powerful and ready for everything.

Yes, I will work twice as hard, I will do all that, I will finish sooner!

Except that, hey, it sounds familiar. The feeling of being able to do everything. I remember feeling like this after I’ve rested for a while, the treatment starts to work and my memory forgets. Then I become obsessed trying to compensate all the “lazyness” I had, do more things than I should just to prove that I can, and end up wasted and quiting again when everything piles up in my head without the certainty of being completely recovered.

I don’t mean I will never attempt something hard again. It doesn’t mean I’m afraid of life.

I’ve just learned to be careful. What’s wrong about graduating after your classmates? Every person has their own problems and obstacles, it doesn’t make them less inteligent or capable.  It’s just stuff out of their control.

You can finish whenever the hell you want. It’s not a race.

I’m over the “I just turned 15 and I am already in college!” thing. For years I thought it was the ONLY good thing I had. That I was really smart and awesome because of it, not because I was really smart and awesome. Everyone always complimented me because of it and nothing else. It made my parents proud to tell that to their friends and colleages.

I have been afraid for so many years that if I lose my age advantage, there will be NOTHING left.   But that’s wrong, there’s so much more to it.

Now I wouldn’t mind sacrificing more years as long as I live them better.

If I ever find something I’m passionate about, I won’t mind it if I’m 30 or 40. I’d follow it.

For some reason I still think I have a big potential, and I’m wasting it at med school. It’s great to be a doctor, but I think I’m doing it for all the wrong reasons. When I have a patient I really comit to them. I feel all warm and fuzzy in the inside after I’ve helped someone. I know my stuff. I would be a good doctor.

But I don’t think I’d ever go into this with my full potential. I lack the desire. And this is one of those careers you really have to be married with. There’s no part time about being a doctor.

And when it comes to be married with medicine, I can only say one thing.

 

I think my husband is great, but I don’t love him.

New Year,New Life, New Room.

It’s nightime. 8 o’clock. I should be watching Gossip Girl, but it’s one of those repeat episodes again, and I can’t bother. I know, I love the idiot box. I’m a couch potato.

My nose is specially fucked up today – I have hayfever + spent the afternoon swimming which makes the allergies even worse + cointidentially hit my nose with a pool stick, instead of hitting the ball (imagine the clumsyness). Besides all this, it’s been a good day, a good week, a good month, and a good year SO FAR.

Maybe it was an attempt to apply the “New Year, New Life” thing, I don’t know. But, last night, out of the blue, I decided to move everything I have to another room in the back of the house. I disasembled and reassembled the bed, carried heavy furniture, reinstalled electricity in the right places, and was done before 10 pm (took me about 3 hours). It was like I had been possessed by something. My family was staring in bewilderment but they didn’t say much… and didn’t help much either.

Anyway, my new room is great. It’s the same 21-year-old bed, the same EVERYTHING; but it has a window from where I can see the patio, and it actually gets COLD at night, and gets LIGHT on daytime. My old room, although like twice as big, felt a lot more suffocating. It was located in the middle of the house with only a small window. The air didn’t circulate, it was hot all day and night (after my last fan broke, I haven’t been able to get a new one.) It was so hot that it had become a habit to take a shower at nights and to sleep naked. 0.O (It started with me going to bed in PJs and waking up topless, without any recolection of taking anything off. Later it extended to nakedness, and eventually one day I caught myself taking off the clothes kind of automatically. Lately I just couldn’t bother to get in the PJs at all.)

The light didn’t know my old room either, no problem, I have artificial light, of course. But the whole thing still felt like a cave. Besides changing rooms, I got rid of a lot of crap I didn’t even knew I had, and took off everything from the walls that I didn’t even remember.

So, here it is. It looks normal, but I love being in there now. It’s cozy, cool, and I think I can keep it a bit more organized. I still need to paint it, and fill my walls with new stuff aswell.

Improvised Feng Shui. HAHA yeah right.

Now, seriously; changes rock, even if they are so subtle they only mean something to you.