Well things aren’t so good

Well, they are good, but they aren’t.

My mood is fine, I am not feeling sadish or stressed or anything mood wise.  It’s actually something more physical.

Yes I’ve been sick in the past four or so days, some random viral upper respiratory track infection, that in turn triggers asthma attacks at night.  Nothing too serious not to be treated with my usual inhaler and some over-the-counter medicines.  It’s something that shouldn’t keep me from going to work, but I have.  I have skipped monday, tuesday and today I woke up late again and I don’t seem to have any intentions to get up and go to work.  I only went on wednesday because, frankly, my parents literally dropped me there because they were on the way out.  All I did yesterday was sleep on a chair and hope nobody would notice I wasn’t working.

I am currently feeling like things in my life are out of control, but they ARE simple things.  Like, I’m unable to do my own errands, I don’t work when I should, and I can’t for the fuck focus.  I haven’t been taking my medication on time, I skip several days, I just can’t bother.  I should have scheduled an appointment both for my psychiatrist and my orthodontist, and I haven’t.  I have a bunch of little assingments on my to do list that are long due for, and I haven’t bothered either.  This is classic of the typical person who never gives a damn about school or anything and lives irresponsibly and just does that all the time.  But I’m not like that.

I’m aware I should be doing all these little things, and I can, and I have all the time, and I don’t.

If I were another person, and I was seeing Nessa doing that, I would lecture her.  In fact, I have recently yelled at one of my friends for behaving similarly in other settings.

But this Nessa is such a stubborn child.  I can’t get her to do what I want her to.

Three days missing and I’m about to get in a perfectly avoidable problem.